Re: Colin's Austin,TX pad

Cryonix Thu Feb 10, 2011 4:24 pm

She sees the door open and sees this beautiful woman standing in front of her. Her eyes grow wide and she screams as she chugs her liquor...

Old Woman: HOLY SHIT! MOIRA! IS THAT YOU? OH THANK GOD, YOU HIT PUBERTY! I KNEW...I KNEW IF I KEPT PRAYING AND FEEDING THAT DOLL I HAVE OF YOU SILICONE....YOU'D GROW SOME STUNNING TITS!

She...grabs Amber's breasts...

Old Woman: Oh...so...soft. So...perky. So....perfect. Much like mine. I'm sure Ashley is milkin' these bad boys every hour on the hour!

Jabberwocky Thu Feb 10, 2011 4:36 pm

Amber stares in confusion. Colin's face goes red as his jaw drops

Amber:"Uhhhhhhh...can...we...help you?"

Cryonix Thu Feb 10, 2011 4:39 pm

Old Woman: Oh Moira, you know me. It's your Nana! I'm here to see you, Ashley, Colin and...um....the other one....what was her name?....Ah, fuck it. I'll remember eventually. So...where are my boys...I need to say...

She cracks her knuckles.....loudly....

Nana: ....Hi.

Jabberwocky Thu Feb 10, 2011 4:44 pm

Amber swings her head around at Colin

Amber:"This is your grandmother?"

Colin:"...Great...grandmother..."

Amber has a look of disgust on her face

Amber:"And you were going to leave her out there?"

Colin:"But..I..."

Amber turns to Nana with a smile

Amber:"I'm not Moira, my name is Amber. Please come in I'll make you something to eat."

Colin:"But..."

Cryonix Thu Feb 10, 2011 5:25 pm

Nana: AMBER?...Um...is this the right house? Where the hell am I? Why is it so Goddamn hot down here? I...

She notices Colin...

Nana: Wait....I know you! You're Ashley's boy! I am at the right house. Oh, good good. You've certanly....grown...large...from what I remember. Tell me girly, from one sultry woman to another...

...did he just put the tip in, or did he shove it in to the hilt?

Jabberwocky Thu Feb 10, 2011 5:42 pm

Amber:"He..uh...wait what?"

Colin sighs

Colin:"Hi Nana.."

Cryonix Thu Feb 10, 2011 5:57 pm

Nana walks over and gives Colin a hug...she smells like old lady, used condoms and broken unicorn dreams...the smell would bother him...until he feels the iron grip of his relative on his crotch...

Nana: You certanly are your daddys boy...such...musculature....

Jabberwocky Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:03 pm

Colin gasps for air. At first Amber isn't certain why then she notices.
She looks shocked but at the same time amused. She walks over to Nana, grabbing her wrist

Amber:"That might be so, but I would appreciate if you didn't damage the goods. I do enjoy them..undamaged"

Cryonix Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:05 pm

Nana jerks once...twice....

...fifty six, fifty seven, fifty eight....

Nana: Oh...guess I should let go...

...eighty one, eighty two...

Jabberwocky Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:09 pm

Amber manages to get her hand between Nana's hand and Colin, doing her best to pry the 95 year old hand off of him

Cryonix Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:12 pm

Finally....FINALLY...the hand comes off...and for Colin, not a moment too soon. For an old woman, Nana had a vice grip...

Nana: So good to see you, Colin...and your girl....um...Amber right? I'll remember. Alright...don't mind me. Go about your day, sweetie. I'll just make myself at home...

Jabberwocky Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:15 pm

After a long moment Colin finally is able to think again. Thank goodness this old woman never teamed up to train with Stu..then again if anybody could survive that, they would be able to survive anything..

Colin:"Uh, Nana how long do you plan on staying?"

Cryonix Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:20 pm

Nana: Only a few weeks....months or so. God, my hemmeroids are acting up. Out of the way sonny jim...Nana's got a date with preperation h...

Jabberwocky Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:23 pm

Colin:"Oh god.."

Both Amber and Colin share a look of disbelief and horror as Nana heads to the bathroom. Whats worse is at first it looks like the old bat isn't going to close the door.

Amber:"We have a flight in a few days, she can't stay that long."

Colin:"I know."

he grabs the phone

Amber:"What are you doing?"

Colin:"Not sure yet. I just hope she's home..."

he hits speed dial....
now dialing..Moira

Pockets Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:27 pm

Wiping sweat off during a workout at the Icebox, Moira hears her phone go off. She checks it and answers.

Moira: 'Ello, Colin?

Jabberwocky Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:28 pm

Colin:"Did Nana get out of the home again??"

Pockets Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:33 pm

Moira: I ain't 'eard that she did. Why, did she call you askin' for a ride?

Cryonix Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:34 pm

From the bathroom, Nana can be heard...

Nana: IT'S OOZING! OH MY GOD...IT'S SO FLUFFY!

Jabberwocky Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:37 pm

Colin:"No...because she is in my house!"

he looks towards the bathroom and cringes

Cryonix Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:39 pm

Nana: COLIN! DO YOU HAVE A BELT SANDER?!?!? I GOTTA BUFF THESE MUTHAFUCKAS....

Pockets Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:39 pm

Moira: I 'eard that... shite. I could come get 'er, but it would take a couple 'ours, at least... an' I know 'ow she gets.

Jabberwocky Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:47 pm

Colin:"I will gladly pay for your flights mom. Just get here. Before she discovers the swimming pool."

Pockets Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:54 pm

Moira: Oh you don't 'ave to worry about that. Ben 'as 'is own jet, an' if anyone can fend off Nana.... All I can say about the swimmin' pool is the only way you can keep 'er from there for sure is to distract 'er... so pick your poison. I'll bey there soon as I can.

Jabberwocky Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:56 pm

Colin:"Ben would allow Nana on his jet?....Then again, I guess its better then her being on a public flight. Alright. Just hurry!"

Pockets Thu Feb 10, 2011 6:58 pm

Moira: Ben ain't met Nana yet... we're on our way.

She hangs up.

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