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The Saints' Locker Room

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Cruel Britannia
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Post  Cryonix Sat Feb 04, 2012 4:32 am

Janitor: It's a fairly simple question....does your perfectly shaped, created by workout and butter ass.....

...have dimples?
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Post  Cruel Britannia Sat Feb 04, 2012 9:12 am

Suddenly, the following can be heard.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ileMBlAqKw
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Post  Jabberwocky Sat Feb 04, 2012 7:36 pm

Colin rushes to the door and looks out into the hallway. He quickly closes the door, locking it and playing everything not bolted down in front of the door

Colin:"If those people out there singing and throwing confetti around with "Saints" banners are your doing, I swear..."

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Post  Cryonix Sat Feb 04, 2012 9:33 pm

Janitor: Well...I was lonely...and they loved you guys too! So we started the 'Touch each other to the Saints' fan club!
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Post  Jabberwocky Sat Feb 04, 2012 9:37 pm

Colin:...."I immediately regret blocking my escape..."

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Post  Cryonix Sat Feb 04, 2012 9:46 pm

Janitor: No don't! It's great! We base our positions on you guys! We have 'Micah getting the shaft from Alexis', 'Colin's ...tug... of emotions', 'Alex and Mandy's twincest cannon', and 'drizzling caramel'!
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Post  Cruel Britannia Sat Feb 04, 2012 9:58 pm

Outside a priest can be heard.

Priest: And on this, the eve of the holy sex cocoon.... let us nourish ourselves with the sacred Taquitos....
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Post  Jabberwocky Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:05 pm

Colin:"....tug of...emotions?....yea that sounds about right...alright I'm going to go out the window now.....Wait taquitos?

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Post  Cryonix Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:08 pm

Janitor: Wait...you don't want to go out that window! Out there is the pool of protein! ...It's full of yogurt...I think.

...well...that's what she said....
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Post  Jabberwocky Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:12 pm

Colin:"She?"

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Post  Cryonix Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:18 pm

Janitor: Yes, she. The one that has put this all together. She is you guys' biggest fan. Even bigger than me!...don't let that fool you though. I grow in proportion to the closeness of the Saints.

He moves closer to Colin...
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Post  Jabberwocky Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:21 pm

Colin:"Who is she?"

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Post  Cryonix Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:21 pm

Janitor: Her name is Pat. Did you want to meet her?
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Post  Jabberwocky Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:23 pm

Colin clenches his teeth

Colin:"Yes..."

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Post  Cryonix Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:29 pm

Janitor: YOU WOULD! GREAT! One...one second.

The janitor runs to Colin's old locker and starts to strip. He puts on a very bad costume and makeup....turning into this....

The Saints' Locker Room - Page 5 Pat2-742146

JanitorPat: WELL.......hello, you tall bottle of mansyrup....
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Post  Jabberwocky Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:32 pm

Colin:"...Of course..."

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Post  Cryonix Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:35 pm

JanitorPat: I know...this life has been...hard...for you. It's been such a...turgid....climb. Let me...help you tug on your...large emotional chord. I have a backdrop that looks like Edmonton, if that would help make this less....weird...
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Post  Cruel Britannia Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:36 pm

Priest: BRING OUT THE MOOSE!
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Post  Cryonix Sat Feb 04, 2012 10:37 pm

(Knuckles...)
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Post  Jabberwocky Sun Feb 05, 2012 4:14 am

Colin:"How about this...you help me get out of this...sorry excuse for a bad twilight zone story...and I'll bring the rest of the Saints."

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Post  Cryonix Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:36 am

JanitorPat: ....You...you will?!?!? I've always wanted to oogle Alex. Hmmm....how do I know you're not lying.
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Post  Jabberwocky Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:41 am

Colin:"Because I'm the emotional caring one, always wanting to find a balance of peace even when its unattainable by my definition."

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Post  Cryonix Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:44 am

JanitorPat: Is this the legendary resentment/respect of the Edwards? I've always wanted to see this up close! Honestly....just so I know....why do you feel you must champion your dad still? Isn't he happy...like...getting married again and stuff?
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Post  Jabberwocky Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:53 am

Colin clears his throat

Colin:"Look, when I pen my autobiography, I will send you a copy."

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Post  Cryonix Sun Feb 05, 2012 5:55 am

JanitorPat: .....cockpromise?
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